Then and Now
As I walk a man whistles behind me, he showers me with praises
Sends me kisses full of venom and expects me to blush and giggle
I run away without answering,
Afraid of looking at him.
My mother taught me, it is better to stay silent than to angry them.
She sad:
"It is not his fault he cannot control his needs like his ancestors couldn't.
It is not their fault they choke you while they're trying to hug you.
They do not know how to touch us.
Their hands are too hard, never gentle; they may touch out breasts but never our hearts."
And when I silently ask, she says:
"Our mothers endured so much for you and I
Injustice, oppression, rape
Just some of the things they had to bare".
Pushed and overthrown
Mistreated and Misunderstood
Used and abused
Alone and confused
Our heritage has been trampled on
Men have violated our bodies and minds 4
We are not enough
We are not smart enough, they said
We are worthless
We are garbage
How can no one stand for the injustice?
The cruelty the poverty bestowed upon us
Its not fair, its not right for you to chain us
to this world, to these lies which ultimately condemn us.
We are more than bodies and baby machines
You will not take my legacy away from me.
We have put up with you for so long, but I guess it was partially my fault.
My fault for not realizing the mere sight of my complexion arouses you.
My fault for not covering myself up to make you feel comfortable
My fault for not shutting up and making you feel smart when you make no sense.
My fault for being the woman tat has to be raped beneath the stands.
Woman, how can you let yourself be treated this way?
Can it be possible you deserved it, that you cause such acts of violence?
Against your mind, your body and spirit?
That's what they think, that's what they will say
They push out their own guilt away from themselves and into our bodies
Until we're suffocating with pain and rage.
I remember being chastised by my uncle for the way I dressed, clamming they would stare at me
I still went out anyway,
I have dressed in shorts and t-shirts, long sleeves and long skirts
Yet they still call me names
If my mothers before me could use their spirits an minds to rebel against them, then so can I.
My little victories, I show them with pride,
Because I dared
I dared to dress how I felt
I dared to speak what I thought
I dared to look into a man's eyes and say: no
Sometimes, you'll be too much woman,
too beautiful, too smart, too strong.
You'll be more than just a slave,
You'll be more than just a body to touch, more than a vessel
That makes a man feel less like a man,
They will coil away from you and try to tame you
That fire inside of you,
That fire that consumes you
Don't let them put it out,
Let it be your fuel, your drive
Let them try and take it from you ,
Let them try to crumble you.
They will find themselves turned into pieces of coal.
And as their world crashes you will turn them into ashes.
Bowling to Find a Lost Father
Discussion Questions:
1. What was it that caused Her's father to go bowling a second time?
Her's father went bowling the second time not for the thrill of it, but for the bonding experience it would give him. He now had the chance to teach his younger children how to bowl. This gave him the chance to build back the bridge that was burnt between him and his children.
2. Do you agree with Her tat it must have been "frightening" for her father to liv with children who had adopted American culture and an American lifestyle (paragraph 5) ? In a sentence or two, explain how he must have felt.
I agree with the authors predicament concerning how her father must have felt frightened by his kids adopting an American culture and lifestyle. I imagine he felt left out, like they were moving on and he was still stuck in the old days. Her's father probably felt frightened because he couldn't talk to his children, he didn't know or understand their new culture, and hey, change isn't for everybody.
3. Why does the author feel "odd" teaching her father how to bowl (paragraph 7) ? Have you ever taught a parent or grandparent something new- perhaps how to use a cellphone, send an e-mail, or conduct an internet search? Explain the feelings you experimented as you did this. Were you proud? Excited? Embarrassed?
The author probably felt odd because she hadn't been this close to her father in a long time and maybe she felt like she was walking on eggshells. I think she also felt odd because her father was openly giving himself the chance to learn something "American" fore the first time. I have had the chance of teaching my grandmother how to use her phone. When she first got the touch cellphone I taught her the basics and she learned quickly. I admit I felt like I was talking to a baby because she had all these random questions like: What is this button for? Will they charge me if I use the internet? How do I use the internet? and on and on it went. But, nothing compares to the happiness I felt after she finally got it. I was proud of her.
Regret
When I think about regret, my mind takes me back to when I was in the eight grade. I remember drifting apart from my friend Justin. We met when I was in the sixth grade, I had a huge crush on him, but he was older and he had a girlfriend. I somehow managed to talk to him, and we became friends. I really think he came into my life for a purpose. A few months after we were friends, my mom was diagnosed with cancer. He was there for me when I needed him. I remember him calling me every single night and asking me about my mom and about me and just to see how I was doing. As her health was getting worse, he would come over with his parents and check on me and my family.
One of the most amazing things about Justin is that he opened up to me. He is the kind of person that doesn't trust easily, he's quiet and he keeps to himself. he gave me the opportunity to be a part of his life and get to know the real him. The day my mother passed was a really hard day for me and he was there. We went to the funeral the next day and one of the things I will never forget is that his birthday was on that very same day and remember telling him I was sorry that he had to be there at a funeral, he said: "Don't worry about it, there is no place I would rather be". In that moment I just knew, I knew I loved him and I knew he was the most amazing guy I would ever have the pleasure of meeting.
After he graduated high school, I was shipped off to another school and I didn't see him that often. I guess we just drifted apart. A year later I heard he had joined the marines, I was so proud of him, but I regretted not being able to share that moment with him, I regretted not being able to call him up and just catch up. So, I made a decision, I've promised myself to ask him out to catch up once his tour is over. I want to build back the bridge that was burned. I could ask him to come over, or we could go to dinner. I think this is necessary for us, because I never gave him the chance to be there for me when everything was good. I feel like I only let him in for the hard stuff and anyone who was with me at my worst, deserves and has earned the right to be there at my best. I also just want to be there for him and listen to him, be the kind of friends we were and maybe this time we wont drift apart. I think this is my chance because we are both grown, we are both mature and I just hope its not too late.
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